Understanding the Hopelessness of a Long Day
Ah yes...the end of the day. What a beautiful feeling. Whether you clock out...punch out or log off. It's a great feeling to reach the end of your day.
Your feet are aching from standing or walking or running all day long. For some of us...are butt does. Sore back, tired arms, fatigued eyes, (ask the driver's in your life...or even those bossy introverts...the IT people). It's OK, I can say it, I'm married to one. OK. I’ll back off now. Cramped hands and fingers, (try working on car engines all day. “Hey!” Oh yes, hairdressers I hear you, every girl you talked to today had a good hair day. Except you. It happens). The shift is over but commuting home now begins. You get out of the parking lot and get stuck at the light. It sucks. You are almost home when you get that text. It's from “baby,” “the love of my life,” “honey boo,” or, “don't pick up” aka “mom.” Kidding!
You read it, (while driving of course...it will be one of the few thrills you get that day you daredevil).
“Don't forget the milk”
“Ahhh!! Grrr!”... U-turn!!
You storm through the automatic sliding doors at Wal-Mart a little too fast. You know because you banged your shoulder on it. It won't stop you, you keep walking, angry, but kind of embarrassed too...you curse under your breath. You rub your shoulder after you grab the milk. Didn't want to show any weakness. You dart off to the cash register. Oh, this is too funny...the milk is leaking. Am I the only person that has ever gone through this?
You are back in your car. The smoke may probably be visible at this point, from your ears. And you pull out rather quickly from the parking lot, traffic died down some, a stroke of luck. Your day may not be so bad after all. You pull up onto your driveway. Walk inside and at last you are home. We all have a routine...take your shoes off...sit on your favorite chair...strip down and jump in the shower. Whatever it might be you start to get into a state of rest and relaxation. Perhaps you pick up that novel you can't stop reading or grab some bourbon or watch Netflix...perhaps both. Or you like to get some wine and cheese...or crack a bottle and see how fast you can find the bottom. This last one is all too common. And that is unfortunate. For others, it's snuggling up to their significant other and hearing each other out. As it may be, you probably snuggle up with your dog. He’s a fantastic listener.
Then, when you think you are winding down your day, you get distracted. No, it's not the neighbors knocking at the door or you remember to take the dog out or dinner has to get done or the kids got into some trouble. You start to remember your long day. What someone said or did. The work you didn't get done. The work that has to get done. It's starts small but the distraction is in your mind. A sort of uneasiness starts to form in your mind and then manifests itself in worry. Or that sinking feeling in your stomach... you get a bit shaky. Or those heart palpitations. Those get us going. You start to get that nagging feeling that something is missing in your life. And then the questions flood your mind. Here is a good one. What's the point? Or...what the hell am I doing with my life? Then the wishes start coming. I wish I could be this or that. I wish I was more of one or another. And then come the self-promises. You know, the ones you always break. I'm going to finish my book, start my business, go to the gym, talk to my kids, go on that date night with my wife, make a schedule, I will follow through. You know how it goes. You then search Google or peruse Facebook. Go on Indeed. We do this until we realize that what we have been telling ourselves all along is true. I suck! I can’t do this! I don’t have the time! You get it, rinse and repeat.
Let’s step away and look at it from a bigger perspective. Life expectancy in the United States is 78.7, (I know, I checked Google!). That tells me that I need to ask better questions. Life is precious, hopefully you agree with that, if not, your life is probably out of balance and you must prioritize the matters that are taking up a lot of your time and start doing what gives you more meaning. One of the ideas that I am trying to understand more in my life is that while we may not know how we all got here I have noticed a trend in the lives of people that live life meaningfully. The end for them is clearer than most other people.
I asked a generally well-off guy not too long ago what was his general purpose in life. He was over fifty, and his answer moved me. “I don’t know, make money?” His answer was a question. A question. I never said it moved me in a good way. He went on and on how he had learned this and that about money. And I kindly nodded my head, almost asking myself the same question I was asking him. The natural response to that question for me is my purpose for this blog…to pursuit truth and find meaning. But I know that I have not altogether organized those thoughts either. I was consumed partly because of what he told me. I too was seeking to make money and run as fast as my feet could move me in that cool big hamster wheel.
The end of the day seems like a wonderful thing to a lot people, because the life we live, the one we wish we didn’t live, is coming to a brief pit stop. But when we look at it from a far then we could make some real decent changes because we are not stuck in the past as much as we are taking those lessons learned and finding ways to apply them to the future. Let’s take it a step further. What if we lived life as if everything we do matters because there was another life to live after this one? And that life’s quality depended on the quality of this one. You have heard of heaven and hell, most of us are OK with one existing but not so much the other one. I will let you figure that one out. The nice one, hopefully we are on the same page here, requires that you prepare for it.
You see you’ll be working there as you do here, but there, your job would give you absolute satisfaction. If you work here, in this life, then it has to be with diligence and as if you were in the job that satisfied you most, now that may be hard to do at your current job, which is why you have to keep searching until you find what is meaningful while being responsible. You will also have time to truly rest and relax. I like bourbon, it’s sweet, it’s delicious and smooth. I do not get drunk, I had some bad experiences with alcoholics in my life, and that explains why, but I do enjoy the art of drinking bourbon and that it helps relax me after a long day. Well, in the new life I will be able to relax in the same fashion but that emotional sensation will not need a substance or a kick start. If I wanted to relax, I would be able to do so. In this life we enjoy hobbies and activities, good or bad, because they bring us pleasure. In the other life pleasure is had in the absence of hobbies and activities as we know them today. No fun!! Some would say. Actually, it would be the opposite, absolute fun, joy.
What makes this life so difficult and to a lot people unbearable is the suffering we meet day in and day out. Think about the fragility of your body. The care we must take to preserve ourselves for the future. If we toiled in this manner to end up in a grave, then, drink and be merry. Merry of course, until ye hurl forth thy breakfast, lunch and dinner. Merry of course, until a dull pounding of the head dreadfully wakes you in the morning. Merry of course, until your next DUI or worse a vehicular homicide as a result of a DUI becomes your new reality.
How about a place as described in that ofttimes misunderstood book at the end of the Bible, yes, the Apocalyptic one, where the “Holy City is coming down out of Heaven.”[1] Mind blown. And where in such a place “God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will exist no longer; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer.”[2] I will take that place any day of the week and twice on Sundays. Yes, I know cliché. But here is the real question. If you knew such a place existed and you can make it there, would you try? Put all preconceptions of God aside. I am not trying to prove his existence here. That would be a futile attempt, as much as proving God does not exist would be. That is not my point. My aim is this, if that possibility is worth living life in an extraordinary way, then we should strive to live in that way.
The other possible reality, no hope. That is, it all ends at the grave. Well if that is true, with what gravitas do we live life with? How many fading dreams will we have to conjure up? I posit this, that without the hope of another better life this life loses meaning. To the point of despair. Without it, our Being would become a simple matter of a life decaying in the most spectacular of ways. Where what we do, day in and day out, for those that despise themselves for it and for those that live in awe of it, is all for naught. In that case, I guess the end of the day, truly is, the most beautiful feeling in life.
[1] Holman Christian Standard Bible (Rev. 21.2) [2] (Rev. 21.4)
Absolutely true! Every word! Man I really appreciate this a lot! Truly inspired!